Celebrating Father’s Day in the U.S. evokes images of dads at grills, toddlers joyfully perched on shoulders and heartfelt tributes. Behind these cherished moments lies a silent crisis: boys and young men navigating a digital minefield where messaging around masculinity promotes dominance over empathy, toughness over vulnerability, and isolation over connection. All of it is shaping a generation at risk of mental health challenges, violence and despair.

Caught in this cultural crossfire, young boys and men are flooded with social media content in which personal growth is packaged as a countercultural break from the mainstream. In truth, this type of messaging reinforces the norms it claims to reject.

As a father, mentor and researcher working with young boys and men who survive, witness and use violence, I see how online spaces have become powerful in shaping their identity. A slew of online accounts now focuses on shaping how boys perceive strength, integrity and vulnerability in ways that have serious real-world consequences. When boys and men are socialized to fear vulnerability, equate power with aggression and distrust care, we cannot be surprised that many young men struggle with mental health, suicidal ideation and substance use; lash out; or avoid emotional intimacy.

We live in an era in which perverse forms of masculinity are algorithmically promoted, politically exploited and culturally rebranded. In the wake of this gender reckoning, curious forms of masculinity have emerged online. The algorithm is flooding young boys and men with content from “grindset” coaches or “manfluencers” promising transformation through military-level self-discipline, and even self-mutilation, under the guise of self-improvement.

A 2024 study from Dublin City University found that 62% of recommended videos on YouTube Shorts and TikTok for accounts set up as boys featured “alpha male” or dominance-focused content disguised as self-help by adult manfluencers preying on their young and impressionable viewers.

There is also a reemergence of artificially nostalgic versions of women with the rise of the “tradwife” movement on TikTok, signaling a reactionary return to “traditional” female roles framed as a remedy for declining male authority. Similarly, the newly popular “clean girl” aesthetic is idealized by thin, white, porcelain-skinned and obediently minimalist women, offering a polished, passive image of femininity that complements these masculine ideals.

As masculinity redefines itself online, gaps in the real world continue to widen. Girls and women now outperform boys at nearly every educational level. Boys have lower reading and writing scores, are more likely to be suspended or diagnosed with learning and behavioral issues, and are less likely to graduate from high school or attend college. Traditional male roles, such as provider or protector, have been redefined by economic, social and technological changes in recent years.

It is unsurprising that mental health crises among boys and young men are increasing. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide rates among adolescent boys have increased by over 30% in the past decade. Likewise, opioid deaths and social isolation are higher among men, especially young and working-class males. This rise is paralleled by a concerning decline in those receiving mental health care, with only 34% of men seeking help compared with more than 50% of women.

Rather than adapting, many boys and men are left confused, resentful and aimless.

Fatherhood and positive male role modeling must offer a different path for young boys and men caught in this crisis of masculinity. This issue extends beyond the boys themselves, signifying a crisis in parenting and the systems that support parents. For those of us raising or mentoring sons, this issue warrants a re-evaluation of how we wished to be supported during our own upbringing.

It is crucial to recognize that many parents grapple with their own trauma and mental health issues, which makes it difficult to provide what they themselves lack. Often, this trauma is passed down generationally, and now they face the challenge of raising both sons and daughters while managing this unaddressed trauma.

This underscores the importance of parenting education and fatherhood programs. Equally vital are involved fathers, positive role modeling, mentoring and the presence of visible, engaged male educators, especially for boys growing up without male caregivers. Constructive, gender-specific interventions that help boys and men thrive without undermining gender equity are also crucial.

Father’s Day reminds us that while we cannot solve these issues overnight, we can work toward healing at home, in schools and online. We must nurture boys and men to fearlessly connect with their emotions, support their peers, play, enjoy peace and openly embrace empathy. We need boys who understand consent. Boys who value care over control. Boys who show vulnerability instead of “manning up.” Boys who feel hopeful.

Digital masculinity is not merely an abstract concept or a passing trend; it is actively shaping our children’s perceptions of love, identity and self-worth. We cannot afford to remain passive observers while technology raises our children. Our boys are watching, and it is imperative that we take action to guide them through this transformative landscape of masculinity.

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Chuka Emezue, Ph.D., MPH, MPA, is a professor and researcher at the Rush University College of Nursing in the women, children and family nursing department. His research integrates community and technology-enhanced interventions and therapies to enhance the well-being and opportunities of youth impacted by violence, substance use and mental health comorbidities.

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