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Dear Annie: I have a co-worker, "Jenna," who I also considered a close friend -- until recently. We've worked together for five years, and we used to grab lunch, text outside of work, even double date with our spouses. A few months ago, she got promoted to a management role in our department. I was happy for her -- truly. But since then, things have changed.

She's become distant, formal and oddly critical of my work. She nitpicks things she never used to care about and only communicates through email now, even when we're just a few desks apart. I tried bringing it up casually, but she brushed it off, saying she's "just adjusting to the new role."

What hurts is that she acts like I'm just another employee now -- not someone who supported her for years. I understand she has new responsibilities, but did our friendship have to vanish overnight? I don't want to put her in a tough spot, but I also don't want to keep pretending this is normal or comfortable.

Should I say something, or is this just what happens when friends become bosses? -- Forgotten by a Boss-Friend

Dear Forgotten: This is, unfortunately, a common problem. It can be difficult to redraw boundaries when someone moves to a position of authority.

Jenna may be struggling to assert her new role and is overcorrecting by distancing herself from people she was once close to. That's not an excuse, but it might explain her behavior. Being a boss and a friend isn't addressed in the employee handbook.

It's OK to ask for a private conversation -- outside of email -- to say you miss the friendship and would like to clear the air. If she still feels closed off, then you have your answer. Let her lead if she wants to find her way back.

Dear Annie: My dad passed away unexpectedly last year, and since then, my mom has started dating someone new. She met him at a church group, and they've been seeing each other for about six months. I want her to be happy, but something about it just doesn't sit right with me.

She brings him to family dinners, talks about him constantly, and recently hinted that they might move in together. I feel like she's rushing things and trying to fill the space my dad left behind. I've tried to be polite, but I know I'm pulling away, and she's noticed.

She keeps asking why I'm being distant, but I don't know how to say, "I'm not ready for this," without sounding selfish or unsupportive. I don't want to control her choices, but I'm grieving, too, and it feels like she's skipping over that part.

Is there a way to be honest without making her feel guilty? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and let her move on? -- Still Grieving in Georgia

Dear Still Grieving: Saying, "I'm not ready for this" is neither selfish nor unsupportive. Grief doesn't move on a schedule, and seeing your mom in a new relationship is a huge and jarring change.

Tell your mom that you miss your dad and you need a little bit more time to sit with that. Let her know your distance isn't about who she's seeing; it's about where you are in your own healing.

Most importantly, remember it's not selfish to grieve differently.

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Annie Lane's second anthology -- "How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.